Shift Change

“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” Proverbs 12:25

Years ago, the doctor diagnosed me with anxiety. As a young lady in my early 20s, I wasn’t really sure of what that meant. I just wanted something to make it go away. I only understood that certain things made my heart race, and at times I felt like death was sure to take me at any moment. I couldn’t breathe. I would hold my chest. I often looked for a seat because I could no longer stand. Because I didn’t want to take medication, I made excuses. The only time I only thought to pay a visit to the doctor was if I felt my situation drastic enough.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized my anxiety is REAL. I had allowed it to take control of me. I couldn’t understand why my worry was different from most people I encountered. Why does my worry never stop? Why does everything have a horrible ending? Why can’t I concentrate on anything because I’m so focused on the worst thing happening in any given situation?

This is not the life I want to live. This is not the life I want my children to see me live. I have to do something and I have to do something, quickly!

So, I’m starting RIGHT NOW! I’ve accepted my diagnosis, and I’m taking control of it. During my journey, I am learning certain things must change and one of those things is the company I keep. See, I’m a professional worrier. Some days it feels like I’m on a 12 hour shift of nothing but worry. Hour after hour, I have a newfound worry. I get no off days. So I’m cutting these shifts down, day by day, hour by hour and I’m not doing it alone.

I’m on a new shift, with new people. I’m with the kind of people who encourage me. They help me get to the end of my shift with a smile. I actually look forward to returning the next day. I look forward to what my new shift brings. I’ve been on that old shift far too long. It’s time for a change. I’m breathing easier now. The pain in my chest is less severe. Slowly, my chest is releasing air.

Have you checked your shift lately? Could your shift use a little adjusting? What about the people who you communicate with on your shift? Could you shift them around as well? I know it has done wonders for me.  I can finally…JUST BREATHE.

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